the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
