Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize