I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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