you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
