OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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