I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
We're like a lot better than the average bears
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
