someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i may or may not be watching the land before time
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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