my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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