ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
