If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
