she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
