i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize