my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
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I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I have post one night stand depression
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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