physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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