Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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