You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
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he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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