also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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