i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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