he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
