I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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