i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
