Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
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Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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