it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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