I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
id be glad to
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You are the jesus of drinking
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
