I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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