But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
