She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
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So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
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I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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