Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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