by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
