I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey