i would punch a child for taco bell
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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