He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
