Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (546): View more from

  Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (546): Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money. http://tfl.nu/o990
  Replies (65) Good night (3046) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache http://tfl.nu/qh4z
  Replies (23) Good night (4563) Bad night (1281)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through. http://tfl.nu/ylm6
  Replies (28) Good night (871) Bad night (4458)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I hate that ur telling me this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection (781): I hate that ur telling me this. http://tfl.nu/g3sb
  Replies (19) Good night (1088) Bad night (4473)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back. http://tfl.nu/ko52
  Replies (13) Good night (6022) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done. http://tfl.nu/o8ax
  Replies (22) Good night (7460) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to? http://tfl.nu/2zz0
  Replies (32) Good night (1335) Bad night (3256)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was http://tfl.nu/p0yn
  Replies (13) Good night (7438) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep http://tfl.nu/uxq8
  Replies (4) Good night (3402) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent. http://tfl.nu/hcxv
  Replies (8) Good night (4177) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago. http://tfl.nu/b245
  Replies (13) Good night (1643) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby http://tfl.nu/ll5m
  Replies (10) Good night (696) Bad night (2550)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween? http://tfl.nu/i2fu
  Replies (2) Good night (946) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy" http://tfl.nu/w6q2
  Replies (4) Good night (1490) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!! http://tfl.nu/iumr
  Replies (0) Good night (451) Bad night (192)

Randomize