Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
