Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
