God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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