we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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