I cockslap morals
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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