I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
