My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
