I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
