i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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