My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
