Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
