Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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