She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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