i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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