my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
my shit smells like andre
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We are all done wearing pants today
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
