and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
