my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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