To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
