East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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