just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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