ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize