I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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