yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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