please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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