11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
