either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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