was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
ugly people sure do ruin things
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
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it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
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She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Never let your siblings swipe right.