just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?