You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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