No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
