He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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