as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
