His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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