Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
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